In this exercise you will begin by reading the modern love column by the New York Times.
Second you will read the handout on relational development–this is a reference sheet that will provide you with an overview of the theories in chapters 8&9 that will be useful in your analysis.
Finally, you will respond to the questions marked as NYT Q’s doc.
(https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/28/style/modern-love-parking-cost-economics.html)
Please answer the Questions in the NYT Q’s link.
New York Times (10-12 min)
When Is Being Together Worth $5.50 and Hour? Please Solve
1.The author likens love to a financial investment, how so?
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/files/157168347?wrap=1
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/files/157168347/download?download_frd=1
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/files/157168347/download?download_frd=1
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/files/157168347/download?download_frd=1
2/15/24, 6:37 PM New York Times Article
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/assignments/13524111 2/4
2. What is the social exchange theory, and how does this theory help us better understand the young lady’s dilemma in Modern Love? 3. Do you find this theory or model useful for understanding relationships ? 4. How has this theory been applied in your life with regards to all types of relationships? 5. Is there a feeling of objectification by reducing relationships to an equation or economic metaphors and analogies? 6. Discuss a time when you decided to give up on a relationship in which there was little to no equity ? Do you regret it; if so why; if not
why?
**So what is the take away from this article as it relates to social exchange theory?
Relationship Development Theories (RDT)
Part 1: To identify seminal theories useful in understanding relationship development
*Theories of Relationship Development:
*The governing theory or metatheory punctuating our examination of this chapter is the social exchange theory. Social exchange examines the cost benefit of the relationship. If the benefits outweigh the costs, then the relationship yields productive. Relationship Worth = Rewards – Costs. (Chapter 9)
Part 1 Cont’d
Theories Examined in Chapter 8
1. Uncertainty Reduction Theory: When we meet, we seek strategies or means to reduce ambiguity, anxiety in others. There are 3 primary strategies.
2. Passive – Unobtrusively observing others. 3. Active – Activities that involve indirectly with the other i.e. (information gathering through media and people). 4. Interactive – Activities that involve direct contact with the person (face-to-face).
1. Social Penetration Theory: This theory explores the five stage of the process of creating and maintaining deeper intimacy with another person; moreover, the theory puts emphasis on the pace of the relationship enroute to *self-disclosure.
Stages of self-disclosure:
1a. Orientation—Individuals engage in small talk, surface-evel communication.
2/15/24, 6:37 PM New York Times Article
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/assignments/13524111 3/4
2b. Exploratory affective exchange stage – Individuals reveal their attitudes, beliefs, and values
about general issues.
3c. Affective exchange stage – Individuals start talking about private matters.
4d. Stable exchange stage – Individuals start developing a deep level of trust with one another.
5e. Depenetration – Individuals start to withdraw from the relationship and stop disclosing.
1. Knapp’s Stages of Development: KSD identifies 5 stages through which individuals come together in a relationship and five stages through which individuals come apart.
1a. Initiating – First contact, i.e.
2b. Experimenting – Surface level comm.
3c. Intensifying – Deeper level conv.
4d. Integrating – High level of investing
5e. Bonding – Marriage
6f. Differentiating – Couples begin to think of each other as separate individuals
7g. Circumscribing – Avoid topics that lead to arguments; boundaries are created
8h. Stagnation – Together but living separately; they stay together for other reasons
9i. Avoiding – Deliberately avoiding; mentally and physically detached
10j. Terminating – Relationship dissolves
1. Attraction Theory: The process of choosing and selecting our friends and romantic partners through four types of attraction. 2. Interpersonal Attraction – A force that draws us to someone else. 3. Physical Attraction – We are drawn to the physical appearance of someone else. 4. Social Attraction – We see the other as affable and friendly enough to engage socially. 5. Task Attraction – We are attracted to and like to work with people who can get the job done.
2/15/24, 6:37 PM New York Times Article
https://learn.vccs.edu/courses/597732/assignments/13524111 4/4
Here is a reference guide to chapters 8& 9. :o)
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