Diego Discussion Post for Reply
The concept of “Retake your Pen” is a metaphor. You are the author and you are taking the “pen” to write your own story. You control your own life, actions, and decisions rather than let external factors influence them. Our text says “Whoever holds your pen can compose the terms of your well-being.” (Grenny et al., 2022). The main idea behind “Retake Your Pen” is to not give anyone that power. The point is to put yourself in the driver’s seat or better said at the writer’s desk. When you hold the pen then no one can control your well-being and bring you up or down but yourself. You are in command. I think this concept was used in the video quite well. Tom kept having a significant amount of outbursts due to people not responding, acting right, or doing what Tom wanted. It bothered him so much that he’d blow up and he was 90 days away from losing his job if he didn’t change his ways. Tom took back the pen when he took the crucial conversations course. He changed the way he approached people, he started caring about relationships more and more. He made an effort to not get mad and not let things get him to a place where he would explode. According to Tom doing this changed his life drastically and for the better. Tom no longer let outside sources influence his well-being. Tom mentioned he felt he received more respect and had better relationships from this. When I receive feedback, I usually do really well. I’m extremely coachable and always have been. I usually ask more questions to understand why what I’m doing isn’t correct and how to benefit. Usually where I struggle is when it is more personal issues. For example, if my wife tells me she’s noticed I’m not putting my clothes in the hamper, my initial reaction is defensive. When it’s professional I am coachable when it is personal I tend to get defensive.
Emotions are a big part of negotiations. Think of how exciting buying a home are a car can be. Framing and the “Retake Your Pen” concept aren’t very different. According to our text “Frames, in short, define a person an event, or a process and separate it from the complex world around it.” (Lewicki et al., 2021). The “Retake Your Pen” concept is similar to framing because both involve taking control of a situation. With framing you frame a situation in a way that suits you best. In the “Retake Your Pen” concept you take control of your own well-being to ensure you are writing your own story. I found a very interesting article from our library that spoke about how framing has a variety of different interpretations. I wonder how many more ways you could use framing.
Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”. If we consider this verse in terms of negotiations it is easy to understand how it could be applied. Never let any negativity come out of your mouth. A concept that we’ve gone over a lot in this class is respect and safety are vital, especially during crucial conversations. If you never let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, it’s a lot easier to have natural continuous respect. It’s easy to understand how people would feel safe throughout the negotiation or conversation.
References
Grenny, J., Patterson, K., McMillan, R., Switzler, A., & Gregory, E. (2022). Crucial conversation: Tools for talking when stakes are high (3rd ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.
Lewicki, R., Saunders, D., & Barry, B. (2021). Essentials of negotiation (7th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.
Michael A. Cacciatore, Dietram A. Scheufele & Shanto Iyengar (2016) The End of Framing as we Know it … and the Future of Media Effects, Mass Communication and Society, 19:1, 7-23, DOI: 10.1080/15205436.2015.1068811 Links to an external site.
New International Version. (2022). Holy Bible: New international version. Bible Society Australia. Ephesians 4:29.
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